5 Egyptian apps to turn a smartphone into a genius-phone

The following 5 apps don’t exist but they fucking should, namely in Egypt!  We really don't know why they don't exist yet, whether it's for legal reasons or lack of developers willing to invest or whether they just refuse to see the genius behind it. Feel free to thank us for the genius apps for your soon to be geniusphone

FEIN EL KAMEEN LITE VERSION

If you pay 2.99 you get the full version which includes the fabulous option of “WE FEIN EL ZABET EL BADEEN”. With this Bey2olak inspired app you are always one stop ahead of the fuzz. People drive into lagnas (checkpoints) unknowingly all the time, because let’s face it, they change their spots. So much like Bey2olak this app lets you know where lagnas are placed for the night and how many they are and their locations. And for a mere fee you can see how many eggs out of five is the officer in charge of various lagnas. In case you can’t change your course you might as well know what you’re driving up to.

FeinElAfteraya 

Pretty self-explanatory,  you're at a party, you're having fun, and it ends abruptly. Your shit faced shit face is creeping people out, and so no one is inviting you to the after-hours, and you're thinking of committing social suicide and never going out again. Now you don't have to, with Feinelafteraya you're in the loop even though you're not supposed to be, at all. With this app you can turn up at after-hours uninvited and show them who's the man! He/she who crashes an after-hours with a charged iPod, a gram of coke, and dances to the very end ultimately wins.

NOTHOTELCALIFORNIA, NOTAGAIN

This is a meditation app for whenever you are out and about, and you hear the inevitable Hotel California and are about to lose your shit. Easily plug in your headphones take a deep breath and listen to the guided meditation accompanied by sounds of nature. No longer do you have to give in to your anger, so get rid of potential ulcers or EGG explosions. NOTE: This app also works with other auditory repetitive Egyptian activities. “TeslamELAYADYOMG” is the paid 1.99$ version for this app, because clearly it requires a longer guided meditation, deep inner workings, and a more focused look into your soul.

 POPELJAM

Egyptians have a knack for making up their own lyrics to famous pop songs, it’s a past time in it’s own right it’s pretty fun. for 4.99 you get a catalogue of over 200+ EGYpop songs, karaoke style. Make up your own lyrics and upload it to the POP-EL-JAM domain, others can download your version and rate it.

 DIE SAYES, DIE

This is an app for parking tips, because being in certain parts of Cairo, at certain times it seems to be impossible to find a parking spot naturally. The Sayes or Doormen now employ the power of cones and huge rocks to reserve a spot for their next willing victim. With this free app, other parkers will let you know when they’re about to pull out of their spot and if you do them a favor or send in-app credit purchased in the app, they can even wait until they make sure you arrived.