Friday March 29th, 2024
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Sweet Scholarships

Are your parents tight fisted or too poor to send you to uni? Well maybe you can adopt a sugar daddy to take away all your troubles. Students in the UK turn to their private parts as a currency to pay for college.

Staff Writer

Sweet Scholarships

Prostitution is an age-old method to a quick fix of income when faced with dire or desperate circumstances. While societies have largely condemned the exchange of sexual favours for money or wealth, the act has found itself a place in the education sector.  College students in the UK, faced with bleak prospects of having to take out hefty student loans to pay for university, have taken to a website that puts them in touch with “Sugar Daddies” who are more than willing to pay for their tuition fees. Thousands of applicants have used the site in order to engage in “mutually beneficial relationships.”

The website, SeekingArrangement.com allegedly has 2.7 million members, 42% of which are students. The CEO, Brandon Wade, said, “The student loans lead to endless debt which amounts to more than the average graduate who earns 21,000 pounds can handle. Sugar daddies provide real solutions to the problem of student debts.”

The site, in all its perverted glory, uses eloquent language in describing the daddies; “You are always respectful and generous. You only live once (oh gosh, even here), and you want to date the best (sounds like a speech worthy of an army of perverts). Some call you a mentor, sponsor or benefactor. But no matter what your desires may be, you are brutally honest about who you are, what you expect and what you offer” –Damn, talk about turning a girl on!

Perhaps in an attempt to solidify it’s legitimacy, the website released a list of UK universities with the number of students signed up to get sugar-daddied:

1) University of Kent - 208

2) University of Nottingham - 195

3) University of Manchester - 175

4) University of Cambridge - 166

5) University of Leeds - 143

6) University of St. Andrews - 141

7) University of Bristol - 134

8) University of Exeter - 122

9) University of Northampton - 117

10) University of Westminster - 110

11) Queens University of Belfast -100

12) University of Arts London - 89

13) University of Essex - 83

14) London School of Economics - 72

15) Glasgow Caledonian University -65

16) Goldsmith University of London - 61

17) King's College London - 59

18) University of Ulster - 54

19) University of Worcester - 51

20) Swansea University - 49

It’s a sad day when the leaders of tomorrow have to sink this low as to sell themselves as commodities to pay for a quality education. Here at CairoScene, we can’t help but wonder what a system like this would result in if held in Egypt. (Shudders!).

But all said and done, perhaps this way these kids might learn a thing or two about feminism… you know, that thing that their actions just took a massive shit upon.