How Eating Pizza With Your Hands Can Now Cause A Fight In Egypt

An atrocious story from two nights ago surfaced on Egyptian social media. This story is akin to the stories of ommena el ghoula, or abou regl maslookha, the kind you'd tell your kids in the future to strike the fear of God in them, because it shall live on as an Egyptian urban legend. It's a story so frightening that it makes us wonder if Egypt will go through another series of security instabilities in the coming days, and what power in the world can ever stop this sort of thing from happening in our beloved country.

This is a story about a woman who had the audacity to tell someone to not eat pizza with their hands.

This is masr ya mama, not Marie Antoinette's terrace. The story goes that Ayman Bahaa, was sitting in Pizza Hut, and at the table across of him, was a woman in her 30s with her young child. When he started eating his pizza, the woman approached him with a few psssts to get his attention. Of course, with a mouth happily full of pizza, he couldn't answer her – he just kind of asked if it was him she was speaking to. Once she had his attention, she asked if she could ask him something, and without his consent to her interrupting his glorious meal, she proceeded to say, “Can you please use a fork and knife? My son is watching you and will end up imitating you. And I'm sorry, but that's really gross. And I do not want him picking up these disgusting habits.”

Now, from this point on, the conversation went something like this:

“Hello? You? I’m talking to you."

“Oh, you’re serious?”

“About what?” she asked, all surprised.

“Repeat what you said,” he requested.

Before she could, he interrupted her saying, “Look, I’m gonna use the nicest way to say this. Why is this any of your business?"

“Um, what do you mean? This is my business. It’s my son!”

“And whose pizza is it?” He asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I’m free to do whatever the hell I want with my pizza. I can eat it with my hands, with my foot, cut it up in pieces and turn it into a necklace. It’s none of your business,” he clarified.

She looked at him in disgust, and said, “People these days…”

It could've ended there. But no. She called on the waiter, and told him what happened.

The waiter was in a trance and asked her how he could help.

Bahaa then said, “Do you guys have a naughty corner?”

Of course, the waiter laughed.

“Oh, you guys are making this a joke?” the lady asked, upset about the fact that they were turning her request into a joke.

Bahaa responded, “Well, no one is making a joke out of anything, except you, and you're making a joke out of yourself. A bad joke, too. Also, if you’re getting a stranger in public to teach your son right from wrong, then you need to reassess how you are raising him at home in the first place.”

Bahaa then writes on his post, that the fight continued and it included some unmentionable words. He uses the post to question the level of invasiveness and rudeness we've reached...

We're thinking about contacting Bahaa for the screen rights to a horror film.

Below is the original post in Arabic: