Get Lucky (But Stay Safe)

Listen, we're not really sure what constitutes haram and not haram when it comes to Ramadan reading, but we have some news which we will try to relay to you in as a halal a way as possible. Remember that Daft Punk song Get Lucky which was being played everywhere, every second, even though it basically sounds like elevator music? Well Daft Punk will be doing more than just providing the soundtrack to you getting lucky, they are now contributing to the process to make sure you stay safe whilst getting lucky.

The French electronic duo have teamed up with a company that rhymes with Purex to make sure that when (after Ramadan of course) you really love another person and get into the same bed with them, you can put this sock-like contraption on an organic object that is usually found underneath your Cottonil boxerat so that after you finish hugging your loved one intensely, there won't be another new human on the planet nine months down the line. To promote this contraption, they have been giving them away to some DJs to sample.

P.S. It's a penis sex condom. Let's just hope it performs better than Random Access Memories.